He Bite Me

I've been watching this over and over for the past few days, so I figured I may as well post it. Official return still pending. HE GET SO CRESSY!

So Long For Now

I don't have internet on my computer anymore, so this site will probably not be updated with any regularity for a while. So as I sign off for another little haitus, I will leave you with this: some of the weirdest shit I have ever seen. Sleep well, internets.

The Phantom Band - The Howling

Don't know why more critics aren't hailing this album. It is amazing.

Transmutation

The winner of some kind of contest or other. Whatever. I'm a huge fan of anything meticulous, bizarre, and beautiful, and this stop-motion animation is definitely all three. And to the soothing strains of Radiohead!

American Fangs - Le Kick

Catch these guys if you're ever in Houston. It's so rare to see punk-rap done right.

Arthur Remixed

No explanation. Suck on this, internet.

Two Great Videos, One Great Song

First, watch this video.



Sweet, wasn't it? Now, let the video below pre-load, then hit play, wait about 15 seconds, and hit replay on the video above. The music from the first video (Lightning Bolt - The Faire Folk) goes perfectly with this time-lapse run through Houston's ship channel.



We just made art together. I feel very close to you right now.

This One Time...

Incredibly creative, well-animated, and downright cute animation.

This one time... from nelson boles on Vimeo.

The Hunt For Gollum

The Hunt For Gollum is one of the best fan films I've ever seen. It's well-shot, well-acted, faithful to the source material, and fairly innovative. How do you solve the problem of a featured character who exists on film only as the result of expensive motion capture technology? Easy; stick him in a burlap sack for 90% of his screen time. It's 38 minutes long, but definitely worth the time, so go watch it.

100 Days of Fair and Balanced

Heh.

Bollywood's Bruce Li

No, that's not a typo. After Bruce Lee died, there was what was called the "Bruceploitation" movement in martial arts films, with actors named Bruce Li, Le, Lei, Lie, and many other variations all biting on The Dragon's style and making money off his name. The reason I say this is Bollywood's Bruce Li and not Lee is because the fake Bruces were known for creating fight scenes so laughably bad they achieved a kind of tragicomic gloriousness. Like this scene.



Best Moment: At the 3:40 mark, a random bad guy (maybe the main bad guy, not really sure) randomly abducts what is either a child, a midget, Little Superstar, or a Zuni warrior doll.

Auto-Tune the News

God I hope they do more of these. Katie Couric sounds awesome.

Watch Auto-Tune the News and more funny videos on CollegeHumor

Disturbing Strokes

Music: it's more important than you think. It's what kept the Princess Bride from being perfect, what made Requiem For a Dream get mistaken for genius, and a simple change to the opening credits of Diff'rent Strokes produces something truly dreadful. And I do literally mean "filled with dread". Enjoy.

We Didn't Start the Flame War

I wasn't expecting this to be very good, but I was pleasantly surprised. It captures the general vibe of the internet fairly accurately. EDIT: It seems College Humor has not fixed their embedding code to go widescreen, so... I guess click it once, then click it again to open in another window if you want widescreen, otherwise I've configured it to be boxy. Likelihood of future links from College Humor: diminishing.

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

EVERYBODY PANIC IT'S A DOUBLE POST DAY

Figure I hadn't updated in more than a week, that means I can double post today. Plus, when I saw this, I basically had to post it. You don't understand how huge a chunk of my childhood Mega Man 2 was.

Britney Spears - Kill the Lights (Rock Remix)

A very well done rock mash-up by Kevin Figueijgiuegueoerido.

Malice In Wonderland

Hey, look, everybody! It's the one video that convinced me to never, ever try LSD!



Oh: the preceding video contained a lot of nudity and numerous disturbing images. If that's not your thing, you probably shouldn't have watched it. Especially not in the office, what the hell's the matter with you?

Open-mindedness

Those who claim to be the most open-minded are often the least. Case in point: has a devout Christian ever accused you of being closed-minded* because you're not Christian? Do they seem so very open-minded if you should attempt to discuss the tenets and beliefs of Buddhism, Islam, Judaism, or Zoroastrianism on the same plane as their own religion? Suddenly, that door shuts real quick.

*I love this video, despite the fact that it clings to the belief that "close-minded" or "closed-minded" is the opposite of the word "open-minded". It isn't. The proper word is "narrow-minded", although I sense that will cease being true in another few years due to "common usage". The English language is very open-minded.

Gaslight vs. Streetlight

The Gaslight Anthem - Great Expectations


Streetlight Manifesto - We Will Fall Together

Warren Zevon - My Shit's Fucked Up (Live)

This is all that will be playing at my 30th birthday party.

A Time-Lapse Rescue

This is very beautiful.


Bathtub IV from Keith Loutit on Vimeo.

The Yin Yang Twins on Cribs, Translated

It's kind of long for a YouTube video - over 7 minutes - but I look at it this way: who wouldn't want to laugh their ass off for over 7 minutes straight?

N.I.L.8 - The Insanity of Drayton Sawyer and His Hallucination of Love Brought On By the Texas Chainsaw Massacre Part 2

This is one of my favorite punk rock songs of all time, and this guy made a great production video featuring it playing alongside... well I'm sure you can guess.

The Dollyrots - Brand New Key

So I thought this was a pretty damn good cover.



Especially considering it's about a girl who's not old enough to drive but goes around gettin' fucked six ways from Sunday. That's what you call your "good egg".

Ricky Gervais and Elmo

Damn funny.



Ricky asking if Elmo knows what "necrophilia" is... priceless. I also have to give credit to the puppeteer(s?) who move Elmo around; the way the little muppet moves and speaks (and improvises), he seems real. Look, I said "he", not "it". Ricky falls naturally into the illusion that he is goofing off with a living thing, and so does everyone else who watches it. That's remarkable behind-the-googly-eyes skill, there.

The Faint - The Geeks Were Right (Does It Offend You Yeah Remix)

Now that's how you remix, kids.

This'll set you straight

Hi there. How are you? Feeling pretty good about life? At peace with the world, spiritually secure? Good! Excellent! So how about this: the eight worst tumors of all time.

So there, fucker.

PISS - I Will Never Go To School

A new classic in the "...Shreds" tradition, and about a million times better than the real KISS. Seriously, did anyone ever buy Gene Simmons' stupid "demon" capering? And the cat make-up on Peter Criss... what can I possibly say that hasn't been said?

YTMND - Bambi Unleashes the Fury

Holy shit. This is the hardest I've laughed at one of these in a long time.

Click to see fury unleashed.

Everything's Amazing, Nobody's Happy

It's true, no matter how convenient things get, people will continue to grouse about everything like it's the world's biggest pain in the ass. It's because as everything gets quicker, our schedules get more exact, so now only a tiny delay is necessary to completely fuck up your day. It used to be "Hey, Uncle Chuck, my wife and I are gonna hitch up the horses and come visit for the holidays. Should be there sometime in December." Now it's "Hey, Uncle Chuck, my flight looks like it's thirty minutes late, just wanted to let you know." Thirty minutes late?!?! FUCK!!!!! Now I'm gonna have to buy an expensive magazine to read, spend that much more time in this crowded smelly airport, goddammit... this airport that fires people in giant metal bullets across the country.

The WTF Blanket

Tired of using regular blankets like this asshole?

Big Stupid Idiot

The Ol' Switcheroo

Magicians, carnies, and other scamsters take advantage of the fact that our brains save us a lot of time puzzling every little individual event out by instead instantly reverting to past experiences, applying them to the current circumstances, and extrapolating how to proceed from there. For instance: your brain knows, from past experience, that people do not just spontaneously change into other people.

Unfortunately, when they do, you are overwhelmingly likely to not notice at all. Stupid brain.

Embedding disabled. Give her the ol' clickeroo.

Robbie Fulks - She Took a Lot of Pills and Died (Live & Acoustic)

Hell of a voice on this guy.

Hard Safety trailer

If you're not familiar with the Safety Not Guaranteed meme, it goes like this: the ad you just read (assuming you clicked on the Safety Not Guaranteed link, you imbecile) appeared in a paper somewhere. At some point, someone on ytmnd paired the be-mulleted jarhead pictured at left with the ad, pairing it with Paul Engemann's "Scarface (Push It To the Limit)", creating a ytmnd entry that captured the imagination of the internet and eventually resulted in this awesometacular little piece of editing.

The Uncanny Valley of Popcorn

No doubt meant to instill us with a sense of wistful nostalgia, the digitally-resurrected Orville Redenbacher instead fills us with a sense of dread, compounded by the fact that he is clearly listening to The Geto Boys' "Still" on his iPod.



The office workers gather in disbelieving horror, gaping at the popcorn-shilling lich, fully aware that seconds after the camera turns off, he is going to disembowel and devour them all. They have no hope of escape, and can only hope for a few morsels of sweet, salty popped corn before they are slaughtered. They will be denied, and the last thing they will hear is his terrifying laughter ringing in their ears... and screaming. Such ungodly screaming.

Chopped Music

I once had the intention to emulate this except with an entire 4-piece band (lead, rhythm & bass guitars + drums) but was never able to string it together; my samples sounded terrible and the songs would have all been mediocre even with a real band. It's much easier to just pick up a guitar and start teaching yourself (which I'm now doing). But still, this remains very cool.

Passion Pit - Sleepyhead

Every now and then I find a weird-ass song that I really, really like a whoooole lot. This is one of those songs. If I was you, I'd click on the video twice and watch it in HQ on its YouTube page. But I'm not you, so it's really none of my goddamn business is it.

I Met the Walrus

God damn, is this ever cool. In 1969, a kid sneaks into a hotel and interviews John Lennon. Years later, he gets someone to animate the audio. It's amazing how just about everything Lennon says is even more relevant 40 years later.

Whitest Kids U Know - God Says

I suppose the band would be called AD/HD. You know, like AC/DC. Nothin'?

5 Things You Think Will Make You Happy (But Won't)

I think reading this today actually did me a lot of good.

Five Things You Think Will Make You Happy (But Won't)

It's a little over-simplified, but good ideas nonetheless.

Thundercats Fan-Made Trailer

Sweet. Good choice of lines.

Drive By Truckers - Feb 14

Said I'd rather be alone
Take your chocolates and go home

Sebastian's Voodoo

This isn't one of those interweb videos where someone kicks someone else in the face, screams "BALLS!!!" and we all laugh. Instead, this is one of the most touching things I've ever seen in an animated short.

Bad Timing

I love when the sponsors don't quite match up with the agenda.

The Return

I've been away for almost two years. Only one video could possibly herald my return.



It's good to be back.